| Meg さんのプロフィールMadame MeG!フォトブログリスト |  ツール  ヘルプ |
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12月3日 Today's The Big Day!!!Today is the big day for some awesome friends of mine!
1. Levi is having his 21st B-Day Party!! It's going to be awesome.
2. Byrd and his band are playing at this awesome party!!
I'm so excited about tonight! It's going to be so much fun...=p
Last night Josh (Byrd), Scott and I made t-shirts for their band Aqua Burn. I had so much fun doing that!
I just hope hope HOPE that I get off work in time to make it to their performance! I'm going to be so sad if I don't. I think my dear friend Ellise is bringing her video camera to record it. So if I do miss it at least I'll get to watch it on tape. *crosses fingers* I really hope I get to catch them live though!
On another note, I'm not sure how well I'm liking this Msn Space thing. Seems to me that a whole lot of drama could get started over blog entries. Oh well...This is my blog, and I shall post whatever I feel like. I sorta got the vibe from a previous comment that is bound to happen. Well this is Madame MeG's tea party people, so if you want to comment just clearify who you are if you know I have no clue. I want no part in any childish games.
Well my darlings, I am off to venture the ways of the road.
_~Madame MeG~_ 12月1日 Pandora's BoxSo tonight I was going through my box of stuff and I came across something very very sacred to me. It was my notebook of poems. These are poems I wrote so long ago when my life was in a downspiral. Reading these and looking at how far I've come just overwhelms me. I hope my life never turns to this state of darkness again. I'm finally coming through to being happy, I couldn't imagine being this lost again. It's so draining.
"Lost"
A moment without you
I am nothing
Lost to the world
Not knowing what to do
My mind grows cluttered
Petulant I become
Lost in my own world
Scared to return to reality
Let me loose, help me unfurl
Lost to sanity, insane I grow
Weaker my body seems to be
Stronger my mind, more I know
Lost without you in my dreams
Blind to my fate
Lost, that's all I am...
"My Own Demon"
I am my own demon
I haunt myself
Twisting all the details
More miserable I become
Created my own tormented hell
Burning with envy, even desire
Watching my back at every hour
Paradise, is that a real place?
I wouldn't recognize it if it
was in front of my face
I am my own demon
I haunt myself
Eternity forever in my own HELL.
"Birth Defect"
To My Mother
Mommy said she loved me
She'd always be there
and with those words I hate to share
All it was, all it appeared to be
is a dream not reality
She left me one sunny day
Left me with nothing to say
So all I feel is pain
All it does is rain
Because in her world i'm not her
little sweet pea
Never was, Never will be
I'm mommy's little birth defect
All I did in her life was infect
x..her dreams to live again..x
Untitled
Lying in my coffin
cold and confused
Why am I here
shattered and bruised?
All these people
Why are they crying?
Numb to the world out there
I feel nothing
It's like i'm flying
Finally my wish came true
I am dead to the world
All is through
How I died doesn't even matter
but from the bruises I know
I was battered
But i'm away from those hands
The ones that hurt me
It's all now to an end.
Untitled
I feel so alone within this crowd
I feel like i'm the only one who knows,
the only one who cares
I can't feel your heart beating
I can't feel your chest breathing
Are you even alive in this skin you're wearing?
The darkness is my comfort
The light blinds me
I hate the way I hate to feel
I hate the way this pain seems so real
Where does it grow from?
Why does it linger here, in my heart of hearts?
Is it them or is it me?
Am I mistaking this reality for a dream?
Wow here's some poems I didn't expect to find...
More recent poems than the others... It's about Chris, when I found out he was still in love with "her"
"Fall"
I should have have never gave my love away
But now it's too late
I'm stuck six feet under
My heart is beating no longer
I feel I'm falling away
When you thought of her
Did you ever think of me?
Why can't I just be the person
...you wanted me to be?
I wish you loved me like her
But love has no cure
I'm falling away from you
I'm falling away from everything
Even myself
When will this end, when will...
I smile
Not for you, but only for me?
I promised you my love
for all eternity
That's a promise I will always keep
But please give me back my dignity
Before I fall...
I'm falling
I'm falling
I'm falling
again....
Untitled
Love is like a drug
It grabs hold and you can't let go
Your love for her is your herion
It traces through your veins
It eats at your heart
Until you go fucking insane
So let the blood shed
from my broken heart
If you want you can lick my wounds
Love has the patience to endure the fault,
But it has no cure
I thought you were my cure for awhile
Until you shot a whole through my heart
I should know to never contend with
someone who has nothing to lose
So let this revolution begin
This self revolution to find my end
Because I can no longer repress my feelings
that I once shared
I can no longer drown in my despair
x...This poem was inspired by Kevin, Edgar A. Guest,
Chris, and my fortune cookie...x
If you read all those i'm impressed, because I didn't expect to post so many.
11月30日 Broken Hearts Never Seem to CeaseI don't understand why people like to play mind games. These type of games can be so harmful. They only cause heart break and sorrow. I just don't understand it. Especially when the victim is a really good person. Why do bad things happen to good people? It just isn't fair. Someone can try their hardest to lead a good life. Treat others as they want to be treated, but in the end they only get their heart returned to them in a million tiny pieces. After that it's so hard to move on. It's so hard to pick yourself up and place your heart back together. I have been down this road many times before, and I know the pain it causes. Yet I've still to make sense of it all.
There is someone out there that i'm becoming close to who has had his heart broken recently. Now he's starting to question the actions of people. He feels like he could never trust anyone again. This pains my heart because I don't want him to turn to the darkside. I want to show him that there are good people out there. That not everyone is going to do harm. But how do you prove that to someone? I guess within time it shall reveal.
Just remember this darlings, becareful what you do unto others, because sometimes you may never gain back what you once lost. A late night chat with your host Madame MeG!Well boys and girls, this is my fist blog entry on here.
I really have nothing to talk about, actually that's a lie, I could sit here and talk about many things but it's late. So I'm just gonna leave you with a few song lyrics that I happen to enjoy....
Goodnight my darlings.
Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell Blue skies from pain
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail
A smile from a veil Do you think you can tell And did they get you to trade Your heros for ghost Hot ashes for trees Hot air for a cool breeze
Cold comfort for change
Did you exchange A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage How I wish
How I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl Year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have we found
The same old fears
Wish you were here
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